Sunday, August 26, 2012

La Palina El Diario KB (5x52)

These cigars have been around for awhile, some of the blends in this makers stable fetch over $20 per smoke, an absolutely absurd amount of money for just about any smoke as I can only think of three cigars off the top of my head that have ever been worth that type of scratch.  This particular blend fetches between eight and ten bucks a piece at reputable retailers around my area so I put that in the standard premium category.  I have heard people rave about La Palina in general for some time now so I grabbed some when I was in a B&M recently.  I am always cautious when I hear ravings about cigars that fetch super premium prices because I don't know if they really liked it, or if they had the subliminal suggestion of greatness placed in their heads after spending big cash on a smoke.  Don't laugh, this is a legitimate phenomenon in the industry.

This cigar presents well.  The wrapper is nicely applied and it has very few veins, it has a nice medium brown coloration and it looks like heavily creamed coffee.  The band work is intricate, but it does nothing to identify the smoke, it's just a picture and some fancy gold inlay so unless you know what you are looking for you might not know this is a La Palina.  The construction seems ok, but there is some firmness that has me a bit concerned about combustion.  The pre light draw is metallic and weird, it leaves an aluminum like feel on my tongue and lips.  The pre light aroma is woody, but not anything eye popping.

The cigar opens with a profile that is absolute garbage.  I am usually not so harsh, but in this case it is what it is.  There is nothing redeeming here amongst the metallic flavors and sour notes of crushed aspirin.  It so stunningly bad that I am checking to see if I mistakenly got a Dutch Masters and I am on some hidden camera show.  I don't see anyone out of place and no one is coming out with cameras and mics so I am forced to conclude that this cigar is just that bad.  At the back of the palate there are some hints of bile, oh wait that is just my physiological reaction to the putrescence.  I'm not sure what the flavor is, but it is absolute detritus with several layers of crap and maybe some rotting wood.  I would rather light magnesium on fire put it over a bowl of melting pennies and eat it with a spoon.  The draw is way too tight, I labor to get any smoke in the opening moments, but it does open up some and I find myself wishing it would close back up.  The burn is slow, but it is even.

The first half of the cigar, well....sucked.  The profile continues to be a vomitous revelation of awful flavors that are among the worst I have ever experienced.  I think there might be some spice and pepper, but it tastes like maybe they were placed over the hood of a rusty old Buick before they were put into the cigar.  The back of the palate continues to offend with some strange rotting wood flavors and loamy and wet dirt essences that are not helping the issue.  The draw has opened up to something less painstaking, but it is still too tight for me and maybe that is a blessing in disguise as I am sure I might lose my dinner (which might be an improvement in aftertaste).  The burn is the only redeeming part of this smoke at this point.

The final half of the smoke is a blessed relief.  Oh the flavors don't get any better, but it reminds me that I am near the blessed end when I can clean my palate with a chlorine tablet from my pool and wash it down with some Muriatic acid.  The core profile still tastes metallic and bad.  The back of the palate continues to churn my innards and there are no redeeming qualities here whatsoever.  The draw is too tight through to the end, but the burn was nice all the way through.

The finish was a wretched affair with blooms of acidic metal and rotting wood flavors that linger, or malinger, well after the smoke was done.

In the end I feel violated, this cigar was awful.  One of my friends pointed out that I may have caught a bad one, and I will leave open that possibility, but I would be worried about what a good one was like.

Appearance- 88 a nice looking smoke
Taste- 70 the lowest possible, it was just that bad
Construction- 76 the draw was awful
Strength- 70 I have no way of knowing what they were going for
Overall- 75 don't waste your time or money


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