Thursday, February 6, 2014

Esteban Carreras Chupacabra Maduro Lancero (7x44)

The lancero is, sadly, a nearly lost art in the cigar world.  Once a year, or so, I wax rhapsodic about the pristine virtue of this oft maligned cigar vitola.  Luckily for all of you this is that time for the year.  What is not to like about the majestic elegance of the lancero size?  It is delicate, long, thin and seemingly dainty (which is why I believe most men eschew this particular smoke).  It is the truest form, in my mind, of getting the perfect combination of wrapper and blend rolled into a magnificent cigar experience.  Many experts say the robusto or corona are the best for the wrapper to blend ratio, I am no expert, but I say hooey to that.  For my money the lancero is where it's at Jack, and don't come at me with your homophobic crap about it being too feminine to smoke.  If you aren't comfortable smoking something because it looks too delicate, I would say you aren't confident enough in your manhood and that you should un wad your panties, take your bath robe off and man the f up.  No one gives a crap what you look like when you are smoking, and if they do they are probably women, in which case you should offer them a lancero and be a sexy f'in couple in the know about the best kept secret in the vitola arsenal.  In other words put down your sixty ring donkey wang and smoke something legit.

Ok enough about the size, I could go on and on about the size craving cigar whores out there, but I won't.  This cigar presents well, it has a perfect lancero size and shape to it.  The pigtail cap finish seems right to me, I don't like this finish on other cigars, but on the lancero it speaks of authenticity.  The wrapper is beautiful on this cigar, a rich and dark brown with very little veining sets the palate to watering before flame hits leaf.  An inspection reveals no areas of concern and I feel as though this smoke is very well made.  The band work is understated, but elegant, and communicates a fine product.  The pre light aroma has hints of cocoa and light tobacco.  The pre light draw shows light pepper, coffee, cocoa and earth flavors.

The cigar opens with a profile that is full of rich flavors.  I pick up cream, cocoa, wood, earth and pepper in the opening moments.  This is exactly what I look for in a smoke, set the expectations early and do it well.  None of the flavors are overwrought and they leave the palate looking for more and more as the smoke progresses.  The back of the palate and through the nose show some light cocoa flavors and a rich tobacco note that sets a nice pedestal for the other flavors to balance on.  The draw is an absolute dream, lancero's are often tight and make for a challenging beginning to the smoke, this cigar blows that possibility right out of the water.  The burn is solid and razor sharp right from the get go.

The first third of the cigar is just wonderful.  The core profile develops into a fantastic melange of wood, cocoa and coffee.  There are some subtleties here that must be noted, including a roasted nut sensation that comes and goes, and some hints of cinnamon that are interesting to me.  The back of the palate becomes a stronger presentation of rich tobacco flavors and there are hints of spice and cinnamon here as well.  The draw stays right on the money without issues.  The burn is also steady and note worthy.

The second third plugs right along and delivers in a big way.  The core profile continues to ramp up with more wood, coffee and cocoa flavors, but hints of caramel were coming through here as well.  It really is becoming something quite exceptional.  The back of the palate becomes a rising tide of tobacco and cinnamon flavors with short bursts of pepper on a regular basis.  This cigar has everything I would look for in my top cigars of the year and I appreciate your patience.

The final third f the smoke was also a wonderful experience.  The core profile mellows into a more subdued presentation of all the core flavors, it is wonderful to experience first hand.  Very seldom do I see a cigar with this kind of balance and assessment of possible tasting outcomes.  The back of the palate continues to chug along, showing tobacco and earth flavors that are holding the experience together nicely.  The draw and burn are excellent right to the end.

I seldom find cigars with this kind of balance and flavor, it is a must smoke in my mind.

Appearance- 91 a nice looking cigar
Taste- 94 nearly classic for me, just a very well put together profile and presentation of flavor
Construction- 94 also nearly classic
Strength- 93 a very nuanced and balanced medium/full
Overall- 93.25 a must smoke

Monday, February 3, 2014

Partagas Benji Homage 62 Toro (6.5x54)

First, a little story.  I have known Benji for some time now.  We have met at several events, dinners, shows, expos and even once had a long conversation in an airport.  Benji was a guest on my radio show a number of times and we always appreciated his willingness to come on and talk about cigars and the lifestyle, he is one of the most affable people you could ever meet, plus he always complimented me on my fluent Spanish (I am far from fluent and I think he knew that, but he appreciated that I could converse with him in his own language).  Sixty two years in the industry is an incredible achievement and I can't say enough about what guys like this mean to the industry.  I can only hope the cigar is an actual homage.

The smoke presents well.  I always like a cigar wrapped in white tissue, I am not sure what it is about that particular presentation, but I like it.  The band work is elaborate and full of glitz and glam.  We all know I am not a fan of all the hoi polloi, but hell this is an homage right?  The wrapper is on the dark side of a medium shade of brown and it has some veining, but I can't see any reason it will be an issue.  There are some nice oils here as well and I am anticipating a nice experience.  The bunch looks good and feels appropriately spongy without being wet.  The pre light aroma has some hints of spice and grass.  The pre light draw shows some peppery notes.

The cigar opens with a profile that could be best described as underwhelming, I am upset by this, the career of one of the greats should be celebrated with an opus of flavor, a crescendo of emotion, fanfare, trumpets and...well you get the idea.  This is like a wet newspaper landing with a dull thud in the driveway on a holiday, you know full of hype but then ten thousand circulars come out and the only news is about some Hollywood starlet with a needle in her arm.  The profile is overtly peppery and there is nothing to balance out this in your face presentation of power.  Without secondary flavors the palate becomes overwhelmed with pepper and starts to scream for something else.  At the back of the palate and through the nose the profile is papery and thin, I need something more robust or sweet to balance out all the pepper in the front of the smoke.  The burn is very solid from the start, but I detect a run starting about a half inch into the smoke.  The draw is smooth.

The first half of the smoke remains horrifically one dimensional, like many of the college girlfriends I had, they deliver one thing and one thing only (usually vomit in my bathroom, before telling you they will go no further).  I keep wanting this cigar to go further, but it won't, and for the record vomit in the bathroom may not be out of the question.  The core profile is still booming out pepper flavors, and some other bitter putrescence that I can't put my finger on at this moment.  The back of the palate and the nose, good lord the poor nose, are being subjected to notes of burning cardboard and grass.  The cigar has now ruptured from the earlier run and the whole thing is about to get chucked, much like my old college girlfriends.  The draw is still smooth, but I wish it would plug, or explode in my face, or grow teeth and eat my head.  

The final half of the cigar was really just a formality in pursuing futility.  The profile never changes, and actually becomes worse, yes worse!  There are some flavors here that I can't quite place, but a mouthful of nickels drizzled with Boric Acid might be closest.  The back of the palate is equally horrid and I am not sure I have anymore adjectives to hammer away at this smoke.  The burn never recovers and the draw unfortunately was great to the end.

The finish was glorious, because I was done.  The flavors were terrible.

All in all I can't believe that this is an homage to a legend.

Appearance- 91 the best part about this, if you have some take them out and look at them then smoke something else
Taste- 70 nothing worth commenting on
Construction- 83 the draw saved this...barely
Strength- 85 medium I think
Overall- 80.25


Sunday, February 2, 2014

H. Upmann Legacy (6x60)

Every so often when you are a man of idle whim, like I so rarely am these days, you can find yourself sitting in a cigar lounge contemplating the greater issues of the day; like if Seinfeld was the greatest show ever, or where you should get lunch tomorrow and in walks a rep from one of the companies and he starts spreading around smokes.  Most of the reps in my area know about my blog and I always remind them that if they give me a smoke and tell me to review it, that it might not go well for them.  They always nod and appreciate my candor and tell me to do it anyway.  Sometimes I wonder about them...

This cigar was given to me to try and review despite my long hatred for anything sixty ring, my long hatred for most things Altadis and in general my hatred for most everything.  I am curmudgeonly at best, a lifestyle I don't recommend, but one that I excel at.  I warned the rep that if I didn't like it that it could be crucified because I have been feeling particularly saucy these days.  He just smiled and gave me one anyway.  I pocketed it politely, made small talk for a bit and when he left fired up something non Altadis.  I was saving this smoke for a time that seemed right to smoke a sixty ring, and I found that moment on the golf course.

The cigar presents like most sixty ringers do, it is a huge log.  The construction seems to be ok, but when the bunch is so large it becomes difficult to detect any issues that may be hiding beneath.  I notice right away that the wrapper is thin, gossamer thin to be exact, and this never adds up to a positive cigar experience in my mind.  Thin wrappers don't smoke well, they crack, they run, they explode and they unravel.  Other than that Mrs. Lincoln how was the play?  The pre light aroma has some thin hints of cinnamon and an odd smell of cardboard.  The pre light draw is way too loose and there are some hints of light coffee and dusty grass.

The cigar opens with a charred and bubbling wrapper, one of the first signs that the wrapper is too damn thin.  I hate when normal lighting leads to charring because someone had to cheap out on wrapper leaf, can a BOTL get an MF'in extra couple of turns on the rolling table?  The core profile is not too bad, but there is little complexity or depth.  There are some flavors of light wood and light pepper, but they never develop into anything resembling a full profile and I am more than miffed.  At the back of the palate there are some grassy notes and a touch of light coffee.  The burn is ok, but still charring the thin wrapper beyond the border of the ash.  The draw is too loose, and this is one of the prime reasons I hate big ring cigars, draws are supposed to have some slight resistance.

The first half of the smoke wallows in the putrid puddles of the shallow end of the cigar gene pool.  The core profile never develops and thin flavors of pepper and light wood are charred and bittered by the poor wrapper presentation.  I am not even sure why I have not chucked this log yet, other than I am playing a decent round and I am trying not to pay attention to the horrible cigar experience.  The back of the palate is faring no better as fetid vegetation flavors take over.  There is little value in this cigar at all.  The burn is better, but still not great.  The draw is still booming right along like pulling through a giant drink straw in a fishbowl margarita.

The final half of the cigar completely comes off the rails.  The wrapper just blows up and begins to unravel, sadly I called this earlier in the smoke.  The core profile is charred and ashy.  At the back of the palate some real gut turning notes of acid and vegetation are showing their might.  The burn is a disaster and the draw is almost as bad.

The finish was long and ugly, several fifths of scotch might not have been able to wipe this clean.

Appearance- 85 the best part of the smoke
Taste- 72 it can't get much worse
Construction- 70 it can't get worse
Strength- 85 not sure, medium I guess
Overall- 75.75 an early candidate for worst cigar of the year

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Viaje Honey and Hand Grenades The Rapier (6.5x44)

I have been on a real paw through the depths of the humidor run lately.  If there is some off the beaten path, seldom heard of, potential dog rocket hiding in my cedar trays I want to find it and smoke and give it the hairy eyeball.  I do this, of course, with you the readers in mind.  You may send gifts, no ticking packages though please.  It is somewhat appropriate that this cigar bears the name Rapier.  I have often been accused of having a somewhat rapier wit, additionally this blog has been criticized and lauded equally for being rapier sharp in assessing a cigar.  Finally, some may just want to run me clean through with a rapier and soothe their tired and bleeding eyes from reading my piles of dreck over the years.  If you are in any one of those categories I would think that you would appreciate the irony in the name of this particular cigar.

This cigar presents with some adornments that I find to be, well....quite something, and maybe not in a good way.  The red tin foil that covers the cigar is visually jarring and it feels like I am hefting some Christmas ornament as I lift it from it's humidor cocoon.  The band has a honey bee and a grenade on it, as near as I can tell, and I find the imagery cute, but not particularly valuable or noteworthy.  Once I unwrap the thing I can get down to the business of inspecting the cigar.  The size is fantastic, I love the length and ring.  The taper at the foot is very Fuente Hemingwayesque, I like this feature.  The wrapper is nicely applied and has a dark chocolate appearance to it.  I notice some tooth in the leaf and some nice oils.  The pre light draw has some licorice and wood flavors.  The pre light aroma is earthy with a hint of sweet clover.

The cigar opens with a profile that is not great and fairly one dimensional.  The core flavor is sweet, trying for something like honey or clover, but coming off as something artificial like saccharine, with a touch of bitterness to it.  The back of the palate and the retrohale show some infusions of licorice and earth, but the saccharine flavor is still persistent in this part of the smoke.  This heavy, and oft bitter, sweetness that permeates the profile is really not great and threatens to become something quite nasty.  The draw in the early stages is too tight, but I attribute that to the taper at the end of the foot and believe this to be a common trait amongst cigars rolled this way.  The burn is a touch wonky as well, and I again lend this to the construction of the vitola.

The first half of the cigar really does not develop, on the good side though it does not deteriorate either.  The core profile maintains the bitter taste of artificial sweetener, it's really not good.  I strain to find something else in the profile, but I just can't do it.  The back of the palate and the nose continue to show some wispy hints of licorice and earth, but it never breaks through the barrier of bitter artificial sweetness that the front of the profile creates.  The draw loosens some, but it is still too tight for my liking at this stage.  The burn levels out nicely as the smoke progresses.

The final half, and especially the final third, finally show some redeeming qualities.  The core profile finally sheds the bitter and artificial parts and segues into something more robust and flavorful.  I am picking up some pine nut, clover and dark fruit along with some white pepper bursts that are interesting.  I could only wish the whole cigar was this good.  Alas, it was not.  The back of the palate and the nose show some hearty earthiness and some wonderful dark wood notes.  The draw is still just too tight for me, but there is not any heat in the smoke.  The burn is solid to the finish.

The finish was a bit tart, some artificial sweetener snuck back in here, but also had some nice lingering traces of fruit and clover.

All in all not the best smoke, and I would probably shy away from it in the future.

Appearance- 83 garish and overdone with all the wrapping and bells and whistles
Taste- 85 saved late to become average
Construction- 87 tight draw throughout
Strength- 86 a nice medium
Overall- 85.5 mundane at best